Love is a journey

Dear Eric,
Today is Valentine's Day - our fourth together. I know that for the most part, we don't elaborately celebrate this holiday, but this year I wanted to take a moment to let you know how much I love and appreciate you. There are not enough words for me to adequately express to you how happy I am to wake up to you and our little family everyday. Sure, some days are hectic, chaotic, exhausting and grumpy - but I wouldn't trade one moment of the craziest day for anything else in the world. There are moments, when we are all sitting together, that I just pause to give myself a reality check that this is all mine. I look at the life and family we have built together and smile at how lucky we are - how blessed we have been - even through the roughest of times.

I smile every time I think about the first moment I met you - or more correctly - the first time I saw you, since it would be a couple of months until we had an actual conversation. You were just a head popping over the shoulder of an old high school friend at a bar. I remember thinking to myself "Who is that really cute guy?". It took me a few weeks to slyly find out your name.

I will never forget our first real conversation. You nonchalantly came up to me a few months later and asked me how many commandments I had broken. It was one of the most original conversation starters I have ever heard. I don't believe most romances start off with the battle ground topic of religion and the Old Testament - but looking back, and I may not have known it then, but I fell a little bit in love you that night.

You brought me Milk Duds at a barbeque because you knew I adored them and then asked me out for dinner. I was incredibly nervous about our first date; I bought two new outfits and considered canceling about six times. I liked you, not only in a crush-kinda-way, but in a I-really-like-being-around-this- person-and-I-would-hate-a-failed-attempt-at-romance-to-ruin-that-way. I'm so happy I didn't.

Our first date was perfect. We just fell into comfortable conversation, as though we were two separated old souls that had finally found each other once again. After that first dinner, walking down the sidewalk, you put your arm around my shoulders as though I was already yours and you, mine. I love how nervous you were to kiss me goodnight. I love that goodnight kiss. I love that you called me the next day and most every day after that.

I love so many things about you. I love the way you make me laugh after I have had a rough day. I love that you encourage me to challenge myself and to take leaps. I love that you embrace the ridiculous and help find and create humor in our every day. I love that every night you have a "bedtime snack"of cookies or a whoopie pie, even while you claim to not have a sweet tooth. I love your sense of adventure in trying new things - whether they be new foods or a desire to explore new corners of our neighborhood, country or foreign land. I love your appreciation of art and music.

I love the way you are not afraid to be silly with Sophie and Violet - wearing pink feather boas and princess tiaras. I love watching you snuggle with Violet while reading her bedtime stories. I love the way you help Sophie with her homework or run outside with her in the cold to so she can watch a space station pass overhead. I love the way you love both our girls. I love the way you love me.

I was looking through our "old fashioned" photo album the other day. It is sadly (and ironically) lacking in actual photos, but I have saved little pieces of our collected history in the pockets. Old ticket stubs from movies, football games, concerts, Parisian business cards from cafés we ate at on our honeymoon... you know me, I hate clutter and holding on to things, but these "things" I could not bear to part with. There are too many now to fit in the pockets of that album - the glued seams have started to spilt. I will have to find a pretty little box to store them in. One day, I will find that box has become so full of memories, that we will need yet another box. I look forward to endless adventures with you - what ever they may be - and filling lots and lots of memory boxes with you. Some may be more exciting than others, but they will all be with you. I look forward to watching our children grow up and in turn, growing old with you. These thoughts are bliss.

There is an invisible thread that binds us together - not only our hearts, but our souls.

Happy Valentine's Day, my husband.

I love you.

~Amber


{Original artwork by Susannah Tucker}